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Parry Ray in Harmony

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Why the empowerment of women starts at home…

March 8, 2018

Every year with the run up to International Women’s Day I do a lot of thinking about what this day means to me, and it always brings me back to my upbringing and how in turn how I have raised both my children, my daughter and my son.

My mother, whilst on the face of it is an extremely traditional woman, has been quite the trailblazer through her life.By all accounts she has never shied away from any kind of challenge and has lived life to the full. She still does, though now 81, she is slowing marginally.

Born in Kolkata, India - she raised her two younger siblings, and ran the house for her father from the age of 13 when her mother died. In that time she left school with flying colours and attained two degrees in Geography.

She and my father came to London in their twenties, the union of a love marriage rather than an arranged one. She worked full time as a teacher – first in a secondary school, then a primary where in time she became the head. She spearheaded an Inner London Education Authority initiative to teach English through the mother tongue in many inner city boroughs, and lectured at the Institute of Education.

None of this was remotely straightforward for a longhaired, sari wearing, never without a bindi Indian woman. But my mother lived her early life fearlessly with a “there was nothing she couldn’t do” philosophy.

I remember when I was about 6, my mother telling me that she and my father considered me their son and daughter (I am an only child). I grew up feeling I could be anything I wanted to be. To be honest, the only person standing in my way was me.Perhaps, whilst my mother is a wonderful role model - as she was out being a trailblazer - there was little time to assuage my insecurities and shortcomings.

I know I’m not alone - I know many incredible women who question their abilities. This is why I feel female empowerment should begin at home and start early.

Maybe this is where women fall short at times; we give oxygen to our inner critic, in a way our male counterparts simply don’t. For me, it is a whisper but I am very aware of that little voice inside my head.

I suppose largely because of the way my parents brought me up I often console myself with the fact life has moved on, we live in a modern, progressive society, it is 2018 after all.

But on Tuesday I read something staggering; The World Economic Forum said it would take 217 years for disparities in the pay and employment opportunities of men and women to end.Over 200 years (!) - I mean that is almost unbelievable and perhaps very starkly puts this year’s International Women's Day (IWD) Press for Progress campaign to accelerate gender parity into context.

I had no idea that as a gender we were on the back foot, to that degree. So if anyone was wondering why the IWD’s call to action is vital – you have your answer. And I believe, as mother, the work starts at home.I feel it is our duty is to empower our daughters, and raise our sons and daughters in as equal a way as possible. I have been pedantic in my desire to raise my children fairly and equally.

My daughter is now 21 and I hope I have done everything in my power to raise a young woman who is comfortable in her own skin, assured in her abilities and knows without a shadow of a doubt that her place, a woman’s place, is absolutely anywhere she wants it to be.  

In Harmony Tags Female empowerment, Gender parity, International Women's Day, IWD, IWD 2018, Press For Progress, Sexual equality
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What International Women’s Day Means To Me

March 8, 2017
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I have been thinking about International Women’s day for months, what I wanted to say and what it means to me.

International Women's Day (IWD) is a worldwide event that celebrates women's achievements, from the political to the social, whilst calling for gender equality.

It has been observed since the early 1900s and is now recognised each year on March 8. The theme for IWD 2017 is “Be Bold for Change” - encouraging people to step up and take ground breaking action to help drive gender equality.

It is difficult to say when IWD actually began, but its roots can be traced to 1908, when 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding voting rights, better pay and shorter working hours. These women were truly trailblazers in my opinion.

We all in our own way, I believe, work to strive for equality and “fairness” in all areas of our lives and this got me thinking about what inspires me about women and why I am proud to be one.

There are certain qualities that unify the women I call my friends, family members, and those I have revered through history. The traits that set these women apart are their determination, persistence and above all fearlessness.

We have seen incredible women throughout history like Rosa Parks - America Civil Rights Activist, Emmeline Pankhurst - leader of the British suffragette movement, Marie Curie – physicist and chemist; and in recent years - Malala Yousafzai - Pakistani activist for female education and the youngest ever Nobel Prize laureate.

Whilst I was never big on history at school, reading about these women’s lives and the ardent commitment they gave to their causes – well, these women are true icons in my view. Women I am in awe of.

Whilst the courage and fearlessness of these women and many others have gone down in history – I look around and see that incredible women surround me in all areas of my life.

In fact I would say hands down my closest friends are forces to be reckoned with, in a really good way.

I have friends who have raised their children alone after divorce, retrained and gone back to work after over a decade because they needed to support their families.

I have aunts, In India, who have given up their own goals to raise their families, keep them safe and nurse terminally ill relatives.

This isn’t a “mother” love-in – I know fearless women who chose not to have children, absolutely their right - and have done wonderful philanthropic things with their lives – with commitment, dedication and authenticity. Some have even ended up as stepmothers – not part of their initial life plan but dealt with the unknown challenges with wisdom and grace.

I am lucky enough to know women who even when they are low, brought to their knees through adversity – get back on their feet – roll their sleeves up and keep going. Their walks and talks are perfectly aligned and I find that so empowering and inspiring.This not me regaling about how women are better than men, I might joke that women are the more superior race – but truth be told – we need each other and work best side by side, in harmony.

And in case you didn’t know International Men’s Day is on November 19 each year and is celebrated in 60 countries around the world. The objective is to focus on men's and boy's health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models.

But today is International Women’s Day. Women who embody authenticity, commitment and fearlessness live all around me; they inspire me and propel me to be better and I hope in my small way I can do the same.

Happy international Women's day! 

In Harmony Tags 2017, Be Bold for Change, equality, International Women's Day, women

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