Looking back on 2017 – my creative journey…

After rushing headlong to Christmas, like we all do, I have taken a few days to reflect on this year.

I revel in these moments, not because I particularly like looking back, but I like taking stock and I love planning for the future.

2017 has been the most important creative year for me, to date. I am clearer than I have ever been on what I want to achieve as an artist both musically and in a wider creative sense.

My music, and the community I am part of through social networking, and am building through my blog, bring me immense happiness and satisfaction. Everything I do revolves around words and emotion. Words have always and will always matter to me. That’s why I love to write.

You may have heard me say before that in all things - communication and connection are my predominant motivations, always with a healthy sprinkling of positivity. I suppose if I had a mission statement – that would be it. And this year, more than ever, I feel I have stayed true to this.

A lot of this year has been about writing new music. I have never really considered myself a Jazz singer per se, though I have spent many years singing this gorgeous genre almost exclusively. I didn’t go to music school – something that has bothered me for years – but I feel more chilled about that these days.

I am a singer who writes adult contemporary music - a blend of pop, jazz and blues and I am really excited about my new release (Untold Stories, Part 1 - a collaboration with my dear friend and colleague, bassist, Richard Sadler).

It is also the third year of my blog and this year a lot of things have clicked. I have loved the engagement with followers and other brands, and collaborations and friendships it has led to.

Through my blog many people ask about my journey, so in case you don’t know, and are interested, here is an abridged version:

My childhood (I’m an only child) was unequivocally happy but the choices I made, were safe family pleasers (I have two Physics degrees and pursued a career in research, science publishing and journalism for a number of years) which is weird because I knew from the age of 7, I wanted to be a singer and songwriter, writing my first song at 12.

October 2001 was a pivotal month in my life. My father was hospitalized due to a negligent operation and in a matter of hours my life was changed irreparably. My father never returned home and died in 2004.

It never occurred to me that something so traumatic would befall my family. My eyes were open to a darkness I had never contemplated. And if I could save anyone from this kind of sorrow I would.

I was desperate in my need to find something positive because I was drowning.

Life is as wonderful as it is cruel and my children though they were toddlers, were my saviours. I had to get out of bed in the morning for them; and to escape mentally from my father’s deterioration I rediscovered my compulsion and passion for singing and writing.

I think this is why sharing joy is at the core of everything I do and as I look back on this year – there has been plenty of joy.

What I saw with my father created a latent urgency in me – to do everything I want to before it’s too late and before I got too old...I’m not sure why or how but, this year, I have learned to savour what I am doing and enjoy the processes I find myself in – because I can’t live without creativity and nor do I want to.

I have finally realised I don’t have to rush anything and age is not factor.

2017 has been my most consistent year in settling into who I am as a creative and that - puts a big smile on my face.How was 2017 for you? I'd love to know...Creativity is contagious - pass it on – Albert Einstein.

Why does discontent fuel inspiration?

Since the weekend, I have been intending to share a motherhood type post.

My daughter got tonsillitis unexpectedly with a raging 40-degree temperature and my son got concussed in the last play of a rugby match.

These two things completely out of the blue have sent me into a mini spiral of worry and stress.

So I started writing something along the lines of how worrying doesn’t stop as your children get older and how the control you had when they were younger has been replaced by your child’s autonomy and is a double-edged sword.

But the worry, frustration, discontent and upset took my brain somewhere completely different.

The parental side of me has been to doing all the things you’d expect – taking practical steps to look after my kids, even though at 17 and 18 they often see it as “harassing” and smothering.

But the emotions have continued to bubble away furiously. The only relief from and dissipation of these visceral emotions has come from writing songs and listening music.

My usual ‘go-tos” of meditation and exercise have left me pacing, without the relief I was hoping for.

As I have tried to calm my brain, lyrics have come so fast I struggle to write them all down. It’s the only release, for me, that is truly cathartic.

I sing new melodies without even thinking about them. They seem effortless and cohesive, which is odd as sometimes I find this troublesome…It has been one of those weekends when I am reminded that the artist and mother in me are so intertwined. I have been a mother for nearly 20 years. But I have singing, performing and writing poetry since I was 7, so I suppose separating out these two fundamental parts of me is not always possible.

The mother in me cannot bear the worry or upset and I try to rid myself of it swiftly.

But the artist me almost enjoys picking it apart, putting under a microscope and magnifying the most sensitive and painful points.

I have realized I do this a lot. It is one of the most effective ways of draining negative emotion and discontent from me. It is almost like an addiction and the most effective medication at the same time.

To be clear I am a happy person, fundamentally. But shit happens sometimes, in all manner of guises, and it seems to fuel inspiration for me in a way that happiness just doesn’t.

And I know I am not alone in this.

In October, Florence Welsh was quoted by saying “her career was basically over as she has nothing to write about at the moment because she was so content”. She joked she needed someone to break her heart again to give her inspiration.

Some years ago I remember reading an article in which Lily Allen said, something along the lines of - when she needed inspiration she would start an argument with a boyfriend to fuel her creativity.

Why do discontent, sadness, anger, drama, trouble and heartache make the fires of creativity burn so brightly? Especially when we are all often saying we are pursuing happiness and peace of mind…I don't know the answer, but I'd like to...What do you think? 

Random thoughts from a London Fashion Week (LFW) event

So here I am - getting back into my blogging routine. The last few weeks have been a little erratic, but life has been pretty full – just the way I like it!

Whilst I can’t quite believe I am sitting down to write about an event I went to a week and a half ago, I am quite glad that I have had to wait to collect my thoughts. Otherwise you may have just read a mildly prosecco-fuelled account of how I enjoyed looking at pretty things.

So here are some random thoughts:

The first thing that springs to mind is whenever I go to anything creative – a fashion event, a museum exhibition or an art gallery – I tell myself I should go more often. London, like so many locations is brimming with talent and creativity.

I knew the LFW event was going to be slick – stylish people milling around a chic backdrop. There were talks and a catwalk show highlighting the season’s trends. The trends show we watched showcased pieces from VeryExclusive.com. Here are some of my faves, all available on their website:

But the best bit for me was wandering around the pop up shops chatting to the designers. Their passion for their vision was something I loved and just highlighted to me how much music and fashion are aligned - in fact there are parallels in any art form, although sometimes I don’t see them, when the art form is visual. But by chatting to some of the designers I realised how similar our creative processes can be.

Among the designers I chatted to, was the lovely Helene Berman. I was so taken by her designs; I ended up with one of her beautiful faux fur coat – although at one point I was holding onto three of her coats!!

(Helene Berman and me, I'm wearing my new coat...)

One thing I struggle to get my head around though is catwalk modelling – I find it a little confusing.

All the models looked lovely and extremely professional and without doubt there is huge skill involved in being a chameleon, showcasing many different styles of clothes. And having recently done a video shoot, working the camera is very “hit and miss” for me – these girls have "know how" I do not possess.

But, they were all so serious and sombre. And however attractive they were, their looks and walks were pretty identical. I suppose this is the point?

Also, without exception, they were all very slim and very tall. Height is something I am quite envious of – as I will never be tall, not without the help of my stilettos which let’s be honest only bring me up to the national average. And whilst some were really very slim, I’m not going to get into the size debate here…maybe a post for another day…The other thing that occurred to me was blatantly obvious - sharing experiences with great company. I went to the event with a friend whom I have known for about 16 years. Our sons share the same birthday. I am learning to never undervalue time with good friends – chatting, listening, and supporting each other and lots of laughter. Sometimes I get so focussed with work and my kids that I forget how good company is great for my soul.

(My mate, Rachel and me - a pre-catwalk selfie)

So in conclusion, it was a really lovely event to go to and I hope to do these types of events more often…and I’ll try not to be so tardy with the posting next time!!

Is it wrong to look back for inspiration? And where do you find it?

On Sunday I wrote that sometimes looking back can be very beneficial. I know for me I have learnt my biggest lessons by looking back at past events and processing them. Not dwelling is the key, though this is easier said than done sometimes...I find the past often holds many keys for inspiration too. The same memory can evoke a multitude of creative seeds that turn into, well for me, lyrics. For instance, the lyrics I wrote just after my father passed away 11 years ago were really dark and tortured, my sorrow literally spilled out onto the page, and now I find it quite hard to read those words back.

As time moved forwards as it does relentlessly, my emotions weren’t so raw and my focus changed and recently I wrote some lyrics with my dad in mind that were positive and hopeful.Words have always had a hold on me – especially poetry and lyrics more so than prose. I have always liked the imagery that that poems and songs create in my head. Songs particularly made me feel things in an extremely visceral way.Poetry and lyrics have also enabled me to say things, express things that I don’t know I would have been able to otherwise.

I suppose that’s why I was keen to delve into my history and past musical loves for my most recent project. My covers album, which is in the final stages and I will be sharing with you shortly is a piece of my past and picking the songs was like rifling through an old treasure chest. The songs I have chosen are particularly evocative and have been waiting for a while in my head as a potent source of expression and inspiration.

Of course, the melodies and the lyrics are set in stone, a snapshot of time - 1978-1988. But I ‘m hoping that though the start of my inspiration was in past, it has been blended with new inspirations and creativity from me, my wonderful band and producers.

My goal is, we have created something that gives a respectful nod to the past mixed with a lot of contemporary and original references…so fingers crossed!

A quick word about inspiration in general…for me it’s everywhere. I am one of those annoying people - constantly writing stuff down – key words/phrases/singing melody lines into my phone. And maybe surprisingly as it is hard to get me to be quiet (!) silence triggers a lot of inspiration for me. Oh, and the shower. Once I got out of the shower five times to write different sections of a song.

Without doubt though, I find inspiration more easily when I’m not looking for it. When I have to write a song or some lyrics or a post and I’m under time pressure – my brain short circuits!

So, I would love to know where you find inspiration, do you step back in time or are you a leave the past in the past kind of person?

Why lyrics are important to me

Years ago I was lucky enough to attend a songwriting workshop run by a respected, eminent songwriter from Nashville called Ralph Murphy. Among the many pearls of wisdom we were told that day, one really really resonated with me, he said

“When you hear a song, the music draws the listener in, but the lyrics keep them there.”

Lyrics written to a great melody and arrangement can create something very tangible that we all connect with. And though the feelings lyrics evoked may be different for different people; one phrase can unlock a tidal wave of emotion, in which you are caught for the duration of that song.

Don’t get me wrong I love instrumental music too. There is beauty in wordless compositions that make feelings rise up inside you. But to me, instrumental music takes you on a different journey one that is more visual, cinematic, perhaps?

As a singer, I view lyrics as my secret weapons. I can tell you things, invite you to connect with me. Through a song I can show you a piece of myself. I can be vulnerable or disarming because I choose to, or because the lyric of the song compels me to. Each time I sing for you, we go on a journey and sometimes the energy we exchange is truly magical. It’s literally like poetry in motion, or in music.

In my recent post, “So what does music mean to you?” I said

“One song has the power to undo all that work you have done on a broken heart. You can be a million miles away and remember someone or something from your past, and smile and feel like it has only just happened.”

There are songs I still can’t listen to because the emotions they reveal are still so raw, they remind me of something or someone I hoped I had forgotten.

I know several musicians who will be rolling their eyes. The number of times, instrumentalists, whom I love, will say rather flippantly that the lyrics aren’t really necessary to the song, or I sing them something and say, “Don’t you think that’s beautiful?” And they respond by saying they weren’t really listening to the words but the melody was lovely…not all instrumentalists of course, but definitely some…although I’m not going to name and shame here!

So what about you? Do you mindlessly sing along to songs, or are lyrics and the story they tell you important to you too? Do you have a favourite lyric, if so, please tell me, I’d love to know.

I am not a fan of "favourites" but here are some lyrics I love from an artist I revere:

Pink: Glitter in the air:

And it's only half past the point of no return

The tip of the iceberg

The sun before the burn

The thunder before the lightning

Breath before the phrase

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?

You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone

Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?

Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

Overexposure of a song – how a song you love turns into one you turn off

Mark Ronson - Uptown Funk (Official Video) ft. Bruno Mars Follow on Spotify: http://ron.sn/stream/spotify Listen on Apple Music: http://ron.sn/stream/applemusic Listen on Amazon: http://ron.sn/stream/amazon Listen to more music from Mark Ronson here: http://ron.sn/stream Follow Mark Ronson Newsletter: http://ron.sn/join Website: http://markronson.co.uk/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/MarkRonson Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRonson Instagram: https://instagram.com/iamMarkRonson/ #MarkRonson #BrunoMars #UptownFunk #MarkRonsonOfficial #MarkRonsonFtBrunoMars #MarkRonsonEssentials #BrunoMarsUptownFunk #MarkRonsonGreatestHits #BestOfMarkRonson #MarkRonsonFtBrunoMarsUptownFunk #MarkRonsonUptownFunk #UptownFunkOfficialVideo #UptownSpecial Lyrics Doh Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh Doh doh doh, doh duh (Aaaaaaow!)

I had an interesting conversation with my son recently that I wanted to share with you.

We were having a lazy Sunday afternoon and I said, as I do, that we should put something on to dance to. This is never met with reaction I am hoping for…one day I will say this and my kids will leap up and dance with me on the sofas…anyway, I digress.

I carried on by saying this felt like an “Uptown Funk” moment. To which he replied, “Oh no…I’m so over that song.”

I voiced my considerable surprise and said what a great song it is…he was non committal – “Yeah…but it’s everywhere” I was intrigued so I reeled of a few other song titles and got to Stay with me (Sam Smith)…my son rolled his eyes, “Yeah, that one too.”

So this got me thinking; to me, one part of being a really successful artist, is that your music is as far reaching as possible. But if the market is flooded with one particular song, does its’ appeal wane? I suppose there could be a tipping point for a song when it goes from being a fresh sound to a cool sought after track to being everywhere – trailers/ad breaks/on every daytime playlist.

Don’t get me wrong, as an artist who has had a few spot plays here and there I have no concept of this dilemma and I’m thinking it would be a quality problem to have.

When I discover a new song I do tend to overplay it. But I suppose my son has a point, because after a while I leave it alone, or hit skip on my playlist. Too much of a good thing, I guess. I do come back to it in time, because, after all, a great song is a great song.

My kids have gone to another extreme, long gone are the days they share new musical finds with me. Their iTunes libraries are closely guarded secrets…I think they are wary of me getting hold of and overplaying their latest favourites.

So does overexposure of a song turn people off? Does it stop you liking a song you loved a month ago? And are there songs that you never tire of, that are immune to this? Tell me what you think.

And this is a little gratuitous...but I really like it...

Learning to love your voice

 It occurred to me the other day that I have been, of late, learning to love my voice, enjoy it even… rather than wanting to sound like someone I revered (whom I was never going to sound like).

If you were to ask me who I would like to sound like today I’d probably say Pink. Clearly, I don’t sound like Pink. The vocal gutsiness and edginess is so natural to her.

When I was very young, it was Judy Garland. I was drawn into the world of musical theatre, the spectacle and fantasy was so appealing. Judy Garland was a belter, like Barbra Streisand and Aretha. The command in their voices, the richness of tone and power. When they do it, it sounds effortless. And that is the mark of true mastery. Making something look like it just happens. And when they open their mouths, well, sometimes we aren’t prepared for the wonder that comes out.

For ages I couldn’t work out how to create that belting sound. So whilst I loved to sing and perform, I was constantly setting myself up for a fall. I’m just not a natural belter. I didn’t know how to produce the power and my body wasn’t hard-wired to do it.

I have since realised with technique I can do it. And have surprised myself, and a few others with what comes out. In a good way, by the way. My current favourite to let rip on is, “Who’s Lovin’ you?” by the Jackson 5.

I have also learned that build and physique comes into it, how you were trained at the beginning of your singing life. Sometimes what you do instinctively is your true sound; and at the core, my voice is sweet. Sweet, with a lot of clarity. And I used to hate that.

I realise now though, that instead of fighting against nature, the best comes when I work with it. Let it do its thing. After all, that’s what I really admire in other singers. How they use their instrument naturally and deliver an authentic performance.

For me, it’s all about the story, the lyrics and emotion and if I am truly in the middle of it, my voice will do the rest. Of course I practise, explore and experiment.

But, every fantastic singing teacher I have ever had has told me to work hard but shut the door on the technique when I perform - and just sing.

Sometimes, we can torture ourselves because we are not what we want to be. We forget to see the gift we have been given and appreciate and nurture it.

When I was in the studio recently, my producer (who happens to be good friend) and I had a bit of an argument. In fact, we were severely pissing each other off. I felt I was giving the performance I needed to give and he told me he wasn’t feeling it. Ouch. I mean seriously ouch.

It could said I then unleashed a hybrid of a spoilt child and stroppy diva… Anyway, we were snapping at each other and I felt he was being down right mean. And then he said to me, “Focus, you don’t need this make-up for your voice, just be you.”

I was so taken back because it was so out of the blue and a really lovely thing to say. My brain didn’t have time to compute. So I sang. And it was pretty much a perfect take.

He then told me he had upset me on purpose to get the performance out of me, because he knew which buttons to press… Not sure I believe that!

So, one of my least favourite questions used to be “Who do you sound like? Names, used to fly through my head…people I wanted to sound like, people I didn’t, people I ought to associate myself with, given genre and style.

I don’t what’s happened, maybe I finally getting comfortable with my voice; nowadays, I say you could come to hear me sing and decide for yourself. I sound like Parry Ray. 

https://soundcloud.com/parry-ray-official/slow-burn?in=parry-ray-official/sets/parry-ray-sampler    

So what does music mean to you?

This is something I have wanted to write about for sometime and was reminded of this by my lovely colleague/friend Adam, with whom I was chatting the other day.

Music to me is all about communication and connection. As a singer, I want to share a story or experience with you, and take you on a journey with me. And for those maybe three and a half minutes I want to be caught up in the intention of that song.

I’m not saying you always need lyrics. Some of the most powerful music I have experienced has been instrumental. In fact, one of my earliest, lasting memories was as a teenager going to see Yehudi Menuhin and Ravi Shankar with my family. In those days, the fusion of eastern and western instrumentation was not commonplace. This concert was groundbreaking really. It was exhilarating and electrifying - and for a few hours I was immersed in a magical world.

I suppose I love that fantastical quality of music. The escape. Falling down the rabbit hole.

In other ways music can be very potent and real. It has the power to transport you, at lightening speed, back to the most evocative memories. One song has the power to undo all that work you have done on a broken heart. You can be a million miles away and remember someone or something from your past, and smile and feel like it has only just happened. And if the right song comes on at a party, well there is nothing you can do but get on your feet and shake your thing. We all have our own jam, right?

I am lucky to know many wonderful musicians, all of whom, I suppose, want to do well with their music and to be successful - it is our profession after all. But sterilizing music into just a product, manufacturing a particular end result - it feels a little soulless to me. I think you know where I am going with this...I love meeting people who have very different musical tastes to me; I love hearing something new that I really like and broadening my musical horizons.

The other thing I don’t really understand is when you ask some people, and I do know a few, what music they like and they say they don’t really listen to music. I’m not saying this is right or wrong, but it really feels like they are missing out on a world rich with experience and colour.

So, music is… finish the sentence with one word. It’s quite hard.

So I’ll make it easier, what does music mean to you? 

Artists that divide us: Part 1

The "Backyard Sessions" took place earlier this summer when Miley brought her band together to perform some of her favorite songs. The last in the series is "Jolene". Checkout the NEW MileyCyrus.com for more!

If I had a pound for every time a musician said to me, “I would never go out with a singer, they’re crazy,” I would be eating out a bit more than I do. There is no getting away from the fact that singers are funny creatures. I feel I can say this, because I am one.

As a singer, I think we all want to make our mark with enough originality to set us apart – so our voice, intention and creativity can truly be heard. But I guess the trick lies in having enough appeal to reach the masses.

There are artists who are “universally” liked, and cut seamlessly across genres. I don’t know many people who don’t like Freddie Mercury, Prince or, more recently, Bruno Mars and Adam Lambert.

But then there are the contentious ones. The ones who are purposefully provocative and antagonistic.

Somebody who has sparked a lot of discussion in my house is Miley Cyrus. And please don’t judge me but I have come round to her. The reality is I don’t know what Miley is like, but the girl can sing.

Last year, I went to see Dolly Parton at the O2 and what a master class in professionalism that was. Whilst I was floating on the Dolly cloud, I decided to research some of her songs and who had covered them. This led me to Miley Cyrus - the Backyard Sessions, I clicked on Jolene and it was great. Take a look for yourself:

As my 17 year daughter, very succinctly said the other day, “So what if she does ridiculous things. Just because you’re a bit slutty or vulgar, it doesn’t make you a horrible person or a bad singer.”

I can’t argue with that.

I guess there is a separate issue of the example being set…do artists have a responsibility to their fans? Or should they experiment and be true to whatever they are feeling at the time?

Does creativity allow us to behave however we choose? What do you think? I think I feel another post coming on…And which artists do you love or hate?

Being thankful

It is very fitting to have this start my blog, week one. I am so excited to be doing this, and appreciating whatever life gives me and being grateful is really important to me.I have posted this prayer/poem a number of times on my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I always come back to it. I found it quite some time ago trawling on the Internet, looking for inspiration.

It is something that has a wonderfully positive effect on me. It calms me, focuses me and reminds me of what is important.

I am very good at whipping myself into a frenzy; I’d like to be more present than I am sometimes.

My brain has this crazy scatter gun approach to a thousand things at once; it’s compulsive and non-stop. Sometimes for creativity this works really well, but it never allows me to be still. And often, I crave the clarity of stillness.

That’s when stopping, reading something beautiful and, in this case saying thank you, can be quite powerful. I feel like there is a lovely energy that washes over me… I really hope that doesn't sound pretentious.

Anyway, I wanted to post this for you – one of my favourite Gratitude prayers/poems: 

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,

if you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations

because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge

because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes

they will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary

because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfilment comes to those who are

also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles

and they can become your blessings.

~ Author Unknown ~

Losing my father, led to my reinvention

Everyone has a story, a pivotal life changing moment. I have a few actually - life, it would seem, keeps slapping me in the face to ensure I get the message. But of those moments there are none more relevant to my life as a musician than this one…

On October 18th 2001, my father suffered serious complications from what should have been a routine back operation. When he woke, after four days and five subsequent operations, he could no longer walk, talk or see. My world had been utterly decimated.

A few long months later I rediscovered my voice – which, it turned out, would be my salvation.

At the risk of sounding like a contestant on a reality show, I always knew that I wanted to sing. I have always found the emotion in music compelling, intoxicating even. That beautiful partnership of melody and lyrics can take me anywhere and evoke latent memories of a different time. But despite playing the piano from the age of 4, guitar from 11 and singing since the age of 7, the goal of being a professional singer had constantly been shelved. My mother, who recognised my love for music at an early age, was reticent. Possibly because, aged 16, I came home with a blond haired, blue eyed, saxophone playing 24 year old boyfriend! But also because perhaps she considered music too unstable a career choice. “You’ll end up in the gutter” she would say, and I used to think, but that’s where the fun’s happening.

So after two Physics degrees and a few jobs in science and business publishing, life accelerated. I got married and had two beautiful children. Many would say that that was enough. But for me not singing turned out to be my biggest regret and my dissatisfaction was growing by the day.

By the end of 2001, my father was in still in hospital (he never came home). He died on 29 February 2004. My mother's heart was broken, she was becoming reclusive and I had a 3 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. That is when I enrolled in a jazz singing class where for two hours a week I was in paradise. My technique was pretty ropey but my teacher convinced me that this was something I could peruse professionally.

I went to some open mic sessions, met some amazing musicians and cut a demo to see if I could get work. It turned out that I could - perhaps not in the most salubrious of locations, but I really didn't care. One of my greatest faults is that I don't always think things through. I favour the “fly by the seat of your pants” approach to life, which sometimes is a curse, but in this case I think it was a blessing. I was literally living my dream, and if I had thought of the practicalities perhaps I would have packed it all in. Slowly both the gigs and my voice got better. I realised I had to put in some serious graft on my technique and repertoire, but to call it work would be fraudulent. Singing isn't work to me - it’s my passion and my compulsion.

Throughout this journey, my kids (now 16 and 17) have been my greatest support. When I doubt myself, they get lippy and arsy in a way only teenagers can. They propel me forward with crazy energy. They tell me to live my dream, because that's what I tell them to do. They tell me that there are no shortcuts, because that’s what I tell them that too. And when I’m exhausted they fold washing, they empty the dishwasher and they make cups of tea.

Life as a singer is crazy, busy and not always straightforward, but there is nothing I’d rather do. Ever. And I feel like I’m just getting started. Losing my father was unbearable, he was kind and warm and gentle and it was one of those things that I thought could never happen to me. But the silver lining was the rediscovery of my voice. Now I get to sing and write every day, I get to be part of a family full of talented musicians and songwriters and I'm pretty sure my dad is smiling down at me, whilst kicking up a storm in heaven.