The beauty of breath

Our ability to breathe is remarkable; I know I’m stating the obvious, but we do it without thinking.

We have the capacity to change our breathing consciously by - gasping or sighing for instance, but we can also affect it subconsciously depending on how we are feeling. Mood is inextricably linked to breath.

Last week, I mentioned on an Instagram post that life has been a little up and down of late. I tend to not let stress get to me, and actually I think I am pretty effective at dealing with a high baseline of stress.

But I know in myself when I am feeding off it in a positive way and when I am not - and I haven’t been lately so I knew I had to do something.

I’m sure like me you have daily practices that punctuate your day, that are good for your general wellbeing. Some people run or go for power walks, others like me start their day with meditation. I also exercise about 4-5 times a week - and of course I sing most days.

But over the last month or so these “good practices” haven’t been as effective as normal. I am doing them but they are not keeping me as balanced as I would like and the more I noticed I wasn’t feeling refreshed after mediating, or I wasn’t using my voice in the way that I wanted, the more annoyed I was getting with myself.

Then last week I realised, it wasn’t what I was doing that was failing me – it was how I was doing it - and specifically how I was breathing.

When I look to my Indian background, most of my extended family practises some sort of yoga. My mother has been doing it since she was at school and now in her 80s, it is still how she starts her day.

Yoga teachers (yogis) have known of the benefits of mindful breathing for centuries. And over the years, scientific research has corroborated these benefits. Paying attention to how we breathe is one of the most effective tools to lower stress levels and improve our mood.

I pride myself on understanding the mechanics and benefits of breathing properly, especially because good breath control is fundamental in singing.

But, and this may sound silly, I have remembered that it is not enough to just breathe; the rate at which we breathe is vital. It is related to the autonomic nervous system which controls our bodies’ sympathetic response (which is the fight or flight thing) and parasympathetic response, which is our rest and restore function, which feeds into our heart rate and respiration, which go up or down depending on whether we are relaxed or stressed or somewhere in between.

Over the last week I have been taking the time to really tap into my breath. There is something beautiful about concentrating on stillness, and tuning into breathing.

I have reminded myself that like so many things, it is not enough to just go through the motions. Consciously breathing is helping me replenish my energy, strengthen my “good practices” and make me feel like I have a solid foundation from which I can tackle the stresses that may come my way.

So now I have a new daily practice - as soon as I wake up (or whenever I need to) I stop and focus in on my breath - soft and slow breaths to start that become deeper and lower the longer I concentrate. And though I am pretty sure I knew this, I am remembering that deep, low abdominal breathing is truly transformative.    

When being kind – don’t forget about yourself

 I have had a revelation this December. If you have been following my social networking you will know I have been socialising a little more than I normally do.

It turns out that burning many candles at both ends is actually exceptional fun and I love it and I have experienced an interesting by-product.

To survive this party season I have had to be kinder to myself - something I am not terribly good at.

Like many people I know, I feel I am pretty good at being kind to others – complimenting them, raising them up, assessing their needs, and telling them what to do for the best in a certain situation.

If someone I care about has had a bad day or is feeling upset I have no problem dropping everything to help them, listen or empathise. I feel compelled to find a way to make them feel better.

But it wouldn’t cross my mind to do this for myself. Why is it so much harder to be kind to ourselves?

So funnily enough - partying, working and doing the normal household stuff has forced me to cut myself a little slack.

Here are some of the ways I am being kind to me.

Physical kindness:

To me, this is covering the basics – looking after yourself physically. After all, we only have one body – so it makes sense to take good care of it.

To some extent, I am quite good at this. Even if I have been out eating and drinking late, I tend to redress the balance the next day by eating lots of healthy food and drinking masses of water – dehydration is a killer – especially after a lot of alcohol!

I also make myself exercise – I cannot emphasis the benefits of this – even if only for 15 minutes - getting hot and sweaty coupled with the endorphins rush works wonders!

However…the bits I am not so good at are - resting, sleeping in, and taking breaks to release the stresses of the day – I am a self-confessed “Queen of powering through”. And I often have to remind myself of the benefits of relaxing and slowing down.

I would like to point out however, resting and doing less in a day is not me giving myself permission to be a complete slacker - but sometimes cutting myself a bit of slack.

Mental kindness:

The most important way of being kind to yourself mentally, I have discovered is silencing your inner voice. I have an inner voice that can be quite lovely. But that’s not the one I’m talking about.

You know the one, we all have our version – the inner voice that berates and highlights all the ways we have fallen short.

The voice in my head focuses on the “I should haves’ and judgement reigns supreme.

Now I am not saying that going out for a few weeks has silenced my (at times detrimental) inner voice but I have chosen not to listen to it or give it as much power. For me, this is a big mental victory.

So being kind to myself has many more merits than I realised and I have decided for the New Year that it is something that I’m going to nurture…I suppose like so many things, it is a question of balance…How about you? How good are you at being kind to yourself?